Before you introduce your child to
your potential partner have an
age-appropriate conversation with
your child and be sure to select a
meeting time and place that plays
to your children's strengths.
Ask your stepchild how they want
you to refer to them. Is it okay if
you call them your son or
daughter? This shows them that
you respect their boundaries but
don't see them as "second best."
If the child has a moment where
they say something like "You are
not my mom/dad so I don't have
to listen to you" try and get to the
root of why they are saying that.
Once things have calmed down
you can have a conversation about
rules and boundaries as well as
better ways to communicate their
frustration. Let them know if they
hurt your feelings.
If sibling resentment is occurring in
your family do not beat yourself up
over it but address it as soon as
possible. Sit down with the
children to have an open and
honest conversation and don't
hesitate to go to family counseling
or seek professional help early.
Don't expect the kids to see their
stepparent as a parental figure right
away. This is a huge transition for
them and you need to let them
adapt at their own pace.
Do NOT speak poorly about a
biological parent where the children
can hear you. Even if they are not
the best parent, let the child form
their own opinions.
Have fun together. Pick an activity
that you know your child/stepchild
enjoys and go as a family.
Take pictures as a whole family when
your situation allows.
If you expect that your child has past
trauma let them know that you’re
always there for them to talk about
any feelings they're having.
Recognize their struggle and get
them into professional help.
Things that need to be kept track of
from house to house (instruments,
uniforms, homework, etc.) can cause
a lot of stress. Consider creating a
sharable Google calendar that all
parties have access to, including the
kids.
Communicate Prioritize
Or visit us at: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/tips-for-blended-families
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